Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Fear and Adventure

The dualities of life never cease to amaze me. How can someone you love be so wonderful and so wounding at the same time. How can true beauty fill us with such awe and terror. How can I be so excited about something and so afraid at the same time? How can I be so ready for something to happen and yet feel so unprepared?

In two days, I will embark on an adventure of epic proportions. Mountains, snow, travel, new friends, beautiful strangers, horses, tiaras, tears. I'm going alone. But not really. My unseen companion, the Wild Goose, is always with me. And I am with me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like my heart is really with me. Like it's a connected extension of my body and my soul instead of some abstract kind of concept or idea. My emotions are so close to the surface right now, which is so foreign to me. I'm not used to feeling like this, and it's scary, and wonderful, and inspiring and immobilizing.

And like with all adventure, there is danger. Unseen and unforeseen enemies wait at every turn to keep me from all that is coming. To rob me of joy, of truth, and most importantly of real, live, abundant life. There is a fight ahead. So, I'm stacking on the armor, sharpening my sword, preparing for the battle. And looking to my Captain. Guard me, protect me, shield me, lead me, please. Fill my limbs with strength, my heart with courage and my life with You. Ready or not, here we go!

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