Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I AM

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast
But I will stay
The same through past the same in future the same today

I am constant
I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy
I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh weary tired and worn
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold cause mine is light
I know you through and through
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love that is deep and high and wide

I am constant
I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy
I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest

-Jill Phillips

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Rhymes

Here's a sampling of a few lines by my new favorite poet, Dorothy Parker.

Ultimatum
I'm wearied of wearying love, my friend,
Of worry and strain and doubt;
Before we begin, let us view the end,
And maybe I'll do without.
There's never the pang that was worth the tear,
And toss in the night I won't--
So either you do or you don't, my dear,
Either you do or you don't!

The table is ready, so lay your cards
And if they should augur pain,
I'll tender you ever my kind regards
And run for the fastest train.
I haven't the will to be spent and sad;
My heart's to be gay and true--
Then either you don't or you do, my lad,
Either you don't or you do!


The Lady's Reward
Lady, lady, never start
Conversation toward you heart;
Keep you pretty words serene;
Never murmur what you mean.
Show yourself, by word and look,
Swift and shallow as a brook.
Be as cool and quick to go
As a drop of April snow;
Be as delicate and gay
As a cherry flower in May.
Lady, lady, never speak
Of the tears that burn your cheek--
She will never win him, whose
Words had shown she feared to lose.
Be you wise and never sad,
You will get your lovely lad.
Never serious be, nor true,
And your wish will come to you--
And if that makes you happy, kid,
You'll be there first it ever did.


Threnody
Lilacs blossom just as sweet
Now my heart is shattered.
If I bowled it down the street,
Who's to say it mattered?
If there's one that rode away
What would I be missing?
Lips that taste of tears, they say,
Are the best for kissing.

Eyes that watch the morning star
Seem a little brighter;
Arms held out to darkness are
Usually whiter.
Shall I bar the strolling guest,
Bind my brow with willow.
When they say, the empty breast
Is the softer pillow?

That a heart falls tinkling down.
Never think it ceases.
Every likely lad in town
Gathers up the pieces.
If there's one gone whistling by
Would I let it grieve me?
Let him wonder if I lie;
Let him half believe me.


The Choice
He'd have given me rolling lands,
Houses of marble, and billowing farms,
Pearls, to trickle between my hands,
Smoldering rubies, to circle my arms.
You--you'd only a lilting song,
Only a melody, happy and high,
You were sudden and swift and strong--
Never a thought for another had I.

He'd have given me laces rare,
Dresses that glimmered with frosty sheen,
Shining ribbons to wrap my hair,
Horses to draw me, as fine as a queen.
You-- you'd only to whistle low,
Gayly I followed wherever you led.
I took you, and I let him go--
Somebody ought to examine my head!

Tuesday, December 6, 2005

A Shoulder to Cry On

Over the past few days, for no particular reason at all, I have been feeling an overwhelming need for a shoulder to cry on. I can't pinpoint a specific event that triggered this desire. I'm not especially sad, or especially worried, or especially upset about anything. Perhaps I am a little more tired than usual. But there's no real or legitimate reason for this need.

I suppose it's comfort that I'm craving, more than anything else. I keep thinking about how lovely it would be for someone strong and good and wise to lay my head on their shoulder, wrap their arms around me and remind me, just reassure me that all is well, that I'm alright, and that all manner of things will be fine. Sometimes I just get so tired of being and feeling alone, of putting on a brave face, of holding it all together. What a luxury it would be to just drop it all and let someone else keep the pieces in place for me, even if just a little while.

It is such a rare thing, to find someone who will allow you to cry. There aren't very many people who can witness someone else's tears without being afraid of them. In all my life I can only think of one person, one man, who has ever been able to be that for me, and right now he is so far away from me that he might as well be on another planet.

Tomorrow I will wake up and greet a day that is fresh and new. My smile will be in place. I will offer comfort and peace and rest to others in any way that I can. But tonight, I will let the tears flow freely as they will, and be grateful of the fact that no one can see them but me.

Monday, December 5, 2005

And it seems like, yes it feels like.....a brand new day!!!