Thursday, December 11, 2008

Fugging Worthless

This morning I am tired, and bored at work, and frantically procrastinating and wasting my time in an attempt to avoid at all costs having to do anything truly productive.

Does anyone else know what I mean by "frantically" procrastinating? I have days every once in a while where I don't feel like working, and do anything I can to avoid actually working, while still sitting at my desk, keeping up appearances to maintain the illusion that I am indeed working rather than impersonating a truly worthless human being.

On these days I usually drive home, exhausted, with the realization that I worked much harder to make it look like I was working than I would have had to work if I had actually been working. I don't know why I do this to myself. It truly sounds like an alarming kind of insanity. But there it is. Some days (today being one of them), I simply will do anything to avoid my responsibilities.

Which brings me to the point and inspiration for this entire post, which is that, in my frantic attempts to spend 8 hours sitting at a desk in front of my computer screen, looking productive but actually being a sloth, I have checked in with my favorite bloggers (the Fug Girls over at and seriously, if you have not experienced the thrilling snark that is this blog get over there right now and check it out.....right now!!! It is pure balm and joy and sunshine with a delightfully pointy little black bow....pointy because their wit is so sharp and black because humor and....). Sorry, let me back up and make one more attempt at that sentence to make sure you're still with me. Becuase even I got a little lost in there.

So, I've checked in with the Fug Girls at least 20 times this morning, and each time I meet....disappointment...betrayal.....brutal emptiness......sad and lonely misgivings. The Fug Girls- my sole source of salvation on these sluggish and completely worthless days of worthlessness- have not posted a single new item. Not one new post in over twenty hours!!!! I just checked it again and still nothing new! I am outraged!!!! How dare they leave me hanging with no sinister, snide remarks about ridiculous celebrities and their bizarre pageantry for more than twenty hours at a time? Don't they know that I may not survive? It is 10:30 in the morning!! Where is my new post? Where is my fugly goodness? I have not had enough caffeine yet for this to be okay.

And then it occurs to me that, so-called aspiring writer that I claim to be, I have not published a new post in over twenty DAYS. So here it is....a new post. And hopefully I'll be a little more consistent with them in the future.

(Just checked the Fug Girls again....still nothing!!!!)