A Crafting Extravaganza (Or Why Martha's Throne Is Safe From Me)

I decided to try my hand at making some Christmas gifts myself this year (if you know me at all, you might be cringing a little bit right now).  You know, because gifts are more personal and special when they're hand-made and it's a labor of love and one-of-a-kind and things mean more when you do them with your own two hands, and give from the heart and blah, blah, blah, altruistic propaganda.

Truth?  The economy sucks and my smarty-smarty husband just had to choose finishing his Ph.D. over getting out and getting a job and money's just tight right now, okay?  And getting married means not just one family to buy Christmas gifts for, but two.  I had to get creative.

So I spent last Thursday night (yay, girls' craft night!), ALL DAY Sunday, and most of the last two evenings working on my home-made, hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind gifts.  There is glitter stuck to my hair, caked under my fingernails, embedded in my contacts, and covering every surface of my house.  When I sneeze, I swear glitter shoots out of my nostrils.  That's not to mention the chalkboard surface spray paint that crackled and peeled away once I added the second coat.  Or the hour I spent on Sunday dying to go to the bathroom because my fingers were glued together and I couldn't get my jeans unzipped.  Or the jingle bells that the cat dragged off the worktable and batted into oblivion so that now one of my projects is forever asymmetrical, because I don't have time to go out and get more jingle bells and looking under the couch is gross.

I saw beautiful glittered garland like this at a Christmas gift market and thought,

"I can totally make that myself!"

Ha!  Who was I kidding?  This took SOOO much work and it's still dripping glitter 

all over the carpet.  Plus it's not nearly as cute as I envisioned it.

And at the end of the day, after all the hard work, glue, tears, anguish, glitter, decoupage, paint, mishaps and temper tantrums - my gifts are decidedly more It's-The-Thought-That-Counts-y than Oh-My-God-I-Can't-Believe-You-Made-This-For-Me-y.  It will be a long time before I can give Martha a run for her money.  Quite honestly, I'm just not sure I'm cut out for crafting.

The base of these wine glasses is coated with spray paint that dries to a 
chalkboard surface.  You can write/draw on the foot with chalk instead of 
using wine charms to keep track of glasses at a party.  I'll wrap red 
ribbon around each stem and tie on a jingle bell and a piece of chalk .

This is take two.  I tried adding a second coat of paint to the first set 
and it ruined them, so I had to start over with a different set.  
We're keeping the botched ones for ourselves.

I day-dream of having my own work room where I create and design and bring to life wonderful amazing projects.  Okay, well maybe not day-dream (as my day-dreams are more likely to consist of dark chocolate and flaming hot cheetos and entire days spent with my husband doing nothing but snuggling and reading and talking and watching inspiring movies and addictive TV-on-DVD).  But I have at least thought about having a work room once or twice.  I have at least imagined rolls and rolls of brightly colored ribbon and fabric and shelves stacked with clear plastic storage bins stuffed with beads and glitter and doodads in every color imaginable.  I have on occasion even deluded myself into believing at least a time or two that somehow, suddenly,  I will magically be able to cut in a straight line.

Chunky wooden picture frames decoupaged with scrapbook

 paper and topped with hand-glittered "Sparkle Letters."  

Thankfully, these photos are forgiving and you can't see the buckling paper.

 Guess I didn't smooth out the air bubbles sufficiently?

But the reality is me.  The reality is I can't draw, drive, or even walk in a straight line, much less cut.  The reality is I can't even color inside a not-straight line (if I wasn't so good at reading, I probably would have flunked preschool).  The reality is having to craft in a kitchen so small that once I got set up for my three days of crafting, there was no conceivable way to do the dishes or even make a sandwich for lunch.  The reality is I'm impatient and I get distracted and I am not detail-oriented enough to make sure that all my crafts turn out absolutely perfect.  And then I cry and get depressed and crabby when I realize that all my crafts did not turn out absolutely perfect.  Yep, definitely, I am not cut out for crafting.

Another picture frame (I made three).
Keith cut the paper for me because of my aforementioned straight line problem.  

Also, he knows that sharp objects + me usually equals blood everywhere.  

But I always have the best of intentions.  And I really do think a gift is more special when you have to do more than just run out to a store and plunk down some money for it.  Does anyone really mean it when they say, "It's the thought that counts"?  For the sake of this Christmas, I really, really hope so!

Finished products: gifts for our "Green Group" (long story) Christmas party. 

One girl gift and one boy gift. 

Black & White & Red has become my "Signature" when it comes to gift wrapping.

Because I like it so much. 

 And I bought a ton of wrapping paper during after-Christmas sales last year.

So merry last week before Christmas to all of you.  To those who share in my crafting disabilities, you have my sympathy.  To those who receive a very-special, one-of-a-kind, oh-so-meaningful, hand-crafted Christmas gift (I really did try) from me this year, you have my deepest sympathy and my apologies and one final piece of advice: Just please don't look at it too closely!