A Peek Inside My Pocketbook

Inspired by Design*Sponge
“There is something beautiful in the everyday life we decide to create for ourselves and the tools we carry tell a story about who we are.”

1. Blessed iPad- Something I never would have purchased for myself, but now that I have one I cannot live without it!  It's my journal, Bible, notebook, and complete portable library as well as putting mobile internet right at my fingertips. Plus, isn't the red leather cover pretty?
2. Mint Mojito Orbit gum - My favorite flavor and I can never find it anymore. I snagged two at the gas station last night. For all I know they could be the last two on earth
3. Snazzy wallet from Target- with absolutely no cash inside! But I do have a library card and a Baylor faculty spouse card. So I'm cool
4. Travel sized Kleenex- slightly worse for wear
5. My passport- not nearly enough stamps in it yet, but I always keep it handy, just in case
6. Cute vintagey pocket mirror- with customary sassy saying on the front (Beauty: It's not just a job, it's an adventure)
7. Flash drive- I'm trying to make the move to complete online file storage with DropBox, but old habits die hard and sometimes I just need tangible proof that all my files are backed up
8. The Illumined Heart by Frederica Matthewes Green- there used to be two or three books in my purse at any give time before my iPad came along, now just this one for use at Small Group tonight)
9. Hair ties and clips- essential now that mine is getting so long
10. Cosmetics- cheek and lip stain, both freebies
11. More cosmetics- three mini sparkly Lip Venoms (for extra plumping, like I need it), pint-sized mascara (the one makeup item I couldn't live without) and an unopened black eye pencil (Sonia Kashuk for Target, the best!)
12. Writing tools- I never go anywhere without tons of them because you never know when inspiration is going to strike. Although, this is another habit that may fall by the wayside as lately when inspiration strikes I just pull out my iPad and go to town.  For now: 10 pens, 3 highlighters, and 1 Sharpie (Grandmom would be so proud)
13. Randoms- Underneath all the pens you can barely make out one lonely (or is it lucky!?!) penny and a couple of paper clips, also a Chick-Fil-A mint crumpled under the gum packs
14. iPhone- I never would have believed I could be so attached to my two pieces of Apple technology. Just goes to show you they are doing something right. Also with a pretty red case because (what can I say?) red's my color!

It's Real if Wikipedia Says It Is

Dyscalculia
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dyscalculia or math disability is a specific learning disability or difficulty involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending mathematics. It is akin to dyslexia and can include confusion about math symbols. Dyscalculia can also occur as the result of some types of brain injury.

The word dyscalculia can be pronounced either as "dis-cal-qu-lee-ah"[1] or "dis-kal-KOOL-ee-ah".[2]

Dyscalculia is a lesser known disability, similar and potentially related to dyslexia and developmental dyspraxia. Dyscalculia occurs in people across the whole IQ range, and sufferers often, but not always, also have difficulties with time, measurement, and spatial reasoning. Current estimates suggest it may affect about 5% of the population.

See also: the reason my brain has completely quit functioning on even the most basic level, and migraines like swarms of killer bees are attacking the area directly behind my eyes.

We're doing price cards at work this week. I should not be trusted with price cards. Or really any type of math or calculations or numbers. Ever. Yet somehow this is my responsibility every year. I think maybe someone is trying to kill me. I'll let you know if I make it till tomorrow.

Musings for Monday

This song came randomly playing over my iPod the other day and it was just suddenly....nostalgia all over the place. 

Remember the movie Free Willy? It was released in 1993, when I was 12 years old and at the height of my oh-my-gosh-i-want-to-save-the-world!-rain-forests!-endangered-animals! phase. I started a club at my school called Kids C.A.R.E (Caring And Rescuing our Environment), and all my folders and notebooks were covered with things like sea turtles and killer whales and cute little baby seals. And how cute was Jason James Richter in that movie? I had such a crush! Also, I wanted to grow up to be a marine biologist and live in a submarine with dolphins. I figured it was the closest I'd ever get to my lifelong dream of becoming a mermaid.

The reminiscence also got me thinking: Keith mentioned on his blog the other day (and I agree) that science is no good at telling us Stories. Religion is much better at giving us the Who's and the Why's and the Meaning of Things. Since thinking about that, I've also noticed that, in politics, the liberals are much better at telling compelling Stories than conservatives are. I wanted to save the environment and save the world as a little girl because of the compelling Story behind that idea. And as much as I also believed in other things (take "Family Values", for example), saving the planet was the Story I was most impassioned about. Interesting, no?

Also, just what exactly does it mean to "Hold me like the River Jordan," anyway?

Baylor Bears Rise Up

I fell in love with Baylor as a little girl. On the journeys from our home in South Texas to Kerens, the sleepy East Texas town where my daddy grew up, we always made a stop in Waco to visit. We went often to Homecoming football games and pep rallies. We walked along the creek outside the Student Union Building, and visited the live bears in the "Bear Pit" and sat through hours and hours of Pigskin and Sing in Waco Hall.

And everywhere we went, my parents reminisced. Baylor campus was the setting of so many thrilling stories- my parents initial meeting, subsequent dates, uncles getting into adventure, cousins being born and living in small trailers near campus while their daddies went to law school and med school. It was the site of so many adventures, so much laughter and growth and learning. It was the place where my parents became who they are. Walking through it as little girl was like walking through a fairy tale come to life.

And then one day, that little girl grew up, and suddenly it was my turn to go to Baylor. I stood on the steps of Collins dormitory, where my parents first met all those years ago, and kissed them both goodbye to set off on my own adventures. And I filled four years there with even more laughter and growth and learning. Baylor was the place where I really became who I am. Graduation day came and went, and now, almost seven years later, I am still in Waco, still in love with Baylor.

I'll never forget standing next to my parents my freshman year at the Homecoming bonfire and realizing that for all the times I'd done this before, it had never been my Homecoming, had never been my Baylor. Suddenly it was. When it was time to sing That Good Ole Baylor Line, Mom turned to Daddy and said, "Get your hand up." He smiled down at her and I heard him say, "My heart's up." Mine was too. And still is, every time I sing the song, every time we do a "Sic 'Em Bears", every time the Bears score a touchdown. This year especially, seeing Griffin back on the field, seeing that he's still got it- it's exciting! It makes my heart soar.

I've been a Baylor fan as long as I can remember, and I will continue to be my whole life. But the life of a Baylor fan is not exactly easy. I'm not always sure what it is, that keeps Baylor fans going. That keeps us so loyal, keeps us coming back for more. But I know that at the beginning of any football season, if you ask us  what we think about the coming year, we'll tell you we're optimistic. Sometimes we'll say cautiously optimistic, and sometimes we're more cautious that others. But we are always optimistic. Maybe it's because of all that Baylor has given us. Maybe it's because we love Baylor so much that we just can't help it. And maybe it's because we know, we just know, that one of these years, the Baylor Bears are gonna rise up.

I'm optimistic this is going to be the year.

Laying Down Burdens

"Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath, and a woman was there who had been disabled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten herself up completely. When Jesus saw her, he called her to him and said, "Woman, you are freed from your infirmity.' Then he placed his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God."

Luke 13: 10-13

There are burdens we can bear. There are burdens we are meant to carry. Things that make us stronger, that draw us closer. Loads that we can shoulder alongside others and help them carry for a time. This is good. We are meant to do this. We are better for it. 

And then there are burdens we pick up on our own. Things that we aren't meant to bear, burdens that no one can shoulder. Loads we can't ease, can't even assist with, because no one really can. There are heavy loads that only God can ease, only He can carry. And it's best to turn those over to Him. 

I carry more than I should most of the time. Not by anyone's fault but my own. I take it on myself. And I do no good by my insistence on carrying them. But I sometimes can't seem to put them down. I feel bent over, doubled, crippled by it sometimes. Sometimes I can barely see above the ground.

And my sweet husband tells me, reminds me, over and over again: You carry too much. You can't carry all of that. It's not yours. You weren't meant to. And he's right. But I don't always know how to put it down. I can't seem to straighten on my own.

Thank you, Lord that You can free me of those burdens. That You will take the ones that aren't mine. Those better left in Your hands. Thank You. Only You can make me straight. Only You can lift my head, square my shoulders. I can't do it on my own. I'm sorry that I even try. I can carry all I need to carry, and the rest I trust to You.

And thank you, to everyone who was moved to concern over my post from yesterday. Thank you for checking on me, for loving me, for wanting to share my loads. I am fine, and I will be fine. And your encouragement means more to me than you can know. It reminds me that we can all bear one another's burdens. And that we are never, ever, alone.