39 Weeks, 4 Days

It's been very quiet around here lately as we settle into the waiting period. I'm more incredibly grateful than ever to be able to work from home right now. I don't think I could manage sitting straight upright at a desk all day every day. But I also don't think I could just sit at home, not working, just twiddling thumbs and waiting for something to happen.

It is truly the best of all worlds for me right now- sitting cross-legged on the couch, barefoot, my laptop balanced on a cushion in front of my giant belly. I have plenty of last minute work-related loose ends to occupy my mind but none feel too stressful or urgent. Keith is in and out but mostly nearby as he prepares for the new semester, runs errands, and vacuums up cat hair. I think he's nesting.

Right now I'm sitting, soaking in the silence. It's the end of a gorgeous sixty-five-and-sunny-day. The windows are open and delicious, fresh, green smells of pine and grass and damp earth are drifting through the air. The kitties have all come back in after a day spent romping in the sunshine and are sprawled, exhausted and content, across the floor. The house seems full of expectant stillness- like even these old floors and walls anticipate the big changes coming any moment.

A few days ago I was feeling no hurry. Mounting anticipation, yes, but no real longing for things to hurry-up-and-happen. But now, I'm longing. Now I am secretly willing things to move. I want to hasten the pace of things. I'm so ready to meet our little girl, ready to kiss her tiny cheeks and squish her tender toes. We took a walk at lunchtime. I suppose I hoped it might set something in motion inside me. Instead, it seems all I accomplished was to lull the tiny girl in my belly down into deep sleep. She's been much calmer than usual ever since.

Which is, itself, a small mercy. Growing bigger and running out of extra space hasn't in any way stopped or slowed her constant motion. I still spend most of each day (and night!) with a belly that rolls like a restless sea. She is strong and dauntless, and full of enthusiastic energy, it seems. And maybe almost ready to meet the world?

I told her today would be a perfect day to be born.