Vacation Vignettes

The Scene:  We had just arrived, hot and cranky, at our hotel, only to find out that we were going to be charged $10 per day just to park there.  Then, there were no luggage carts available to help wheel in our mountains of stuff.  When we went to the front desk to check in....

Receptionist:  Okay, I have you for two nights, one king bed.  You booked and paid for your room already through Priceline, so of course that's non-refundable.  I'll just need to see the credit card you used to book the room.

Keith fumbles through his wallet, finally pulls out a card and hands it to the lady, then turns to me in a complete panic and grabs my arm.

Keith: I lost my credit card.

Me (looking confusedly from Keith's stricken face to the card he just handed over):  What?

Keith (panic escalating): I LOST my CREDIT CARD.

Me (slightly dazed):  What do you mean you lost your credit card?

Keith (now losing patience): I mean I LOST my CREDIT CARD!!!!

At this point the lady hands him back his card, which I look at pointedly, only to realize that's not the card he's talking about.  He's missing our other credit card.  The one we use all the time.  The one he'd used a few miles back to fill up the car with gas.

Keith (showing me his empty wallet):  I LOST it!  I don't know where it is?

Me:  Maybe you put it in the wrong slot?  

Keith (hastily pulling every single thing out of his wallet and flipping it all in front of my face, item by item):  No!  I LOST IT!!

Me:  What about your pockets?  Did you check your pockets?

Keith (rolling his eyes):  It's not in my pockets.

Me: Did you check?

Keith (exasperated):  YES!!!

Me (starting to get a little irritated myself):  Well, you were distracted at the gas station, let's go check in the car.

Keith (moments later, as we are tearing through the car, looking in every conceivable nook or cranny):  It's not here!  I can't believe I LOST IT!!!!!  

Me:  Are you sure you looked in your pockets?

Keith (snarling):  YES!!!

Me (continuing to search):  Well, I don't know where else it could be.  Should we call Chase and have it cancelled?

Keith (quietly):  oh, wait...it's here in my pocket...

Me (relieved and slightly amused):  Next time you tell me you looked in your pockets, I'm going to make you turn them inside out for me!

The Scene:  It's our last day of vacation.  As we check out of our hotel, I pull out my iPad to get directions to the River Walk where we're planning to eat lunch.

Me:  Huh, I just punched River Walk San Antonio Texas into the iPad and instead it brought up all the closest Starbuck's locations.

Keith:  Funny.  I hadn't even thought about getting coffee yet.

Me:  That's sad.  My iPad knows me better than my husband.