Meditations on Home

Today is a beautiful day.  A brilliant sun beckons from its place high in the sky, but the crisp bite of the wind recommends staying inside instead, wrapped in the warmth of home. 

Home, as an idea, has been on my mind lately.

Home is a place that I've left behind, that I'll never quite recapture.  Home is beside my husband, facing a new and unknown future.  Home is with You, and in You, and You inside me.

Home is a 12 x 12 foot box with three windows, a desk, a computer and much work to be done.  Home is a good book.  Home is supper simmering on the stove, sleepy blue eyes over a coffee cup in morning light, four swishing tails and eight pairs of overly-curious, frisky paws.  Home is wrapped under blankets, warmed by the man I chose so well.  Home is with You, and in You, and You inside me.

Home is a place I've left behind, that I'm constantly leaving behind.  Home is a bond that I've severed.  Home is a hand I once held.  Home is the person I used to be.  Home is constant frenetic energy, and trying to keep up.  Home is trying so hard to Be...be more, be better, be enough.  Home is a grand gathering, loud voices, lots of laughter, and constant demands.  Home is a tight hug after a long, honest cry.  Home is with You, and in You, and You inside me.

Home is a place that I've left behind, that I'm constantly leaving behind.  And home is a place I'm returning to.  Home is the person I want to be, the person I'm becoming.  Home is open arms, open eyes, and an open heart.  Home is moving forward, and sometimes looking wistfully back.  Home is beside my husband, the man I chose so well, looking out at a brilliant and unknown future.  Home is a great, big, wide world to explore and to make my own.  Home is risking and loving, and learning to be unselfish but still maintain my Self. Home is wholeness and healing and tearing down walls.  Home is looking at myself, honestly, and not always liking what I see.  Home is being loved and challenged, held and pushed.  Home is reaching out a hand.  Home is being led and being lost.  Home is with You, and in You, and You inside me.

Home is a place I've left behind, that I'm constantly leaving behind.  And home is the place I am always returning to.  Home is right here - wherever You are - and wherever I AM.