Dinner Fail

Last night we had our first ever adventure in cooking that was actually sucky.  It was supposed to be garlicky chicken skewers with eggplant and zucchini.  All things we like.  Should have been great.  Wasn't.

I can't figure out what went wrong.  The skewers were supposed to be grilled and we pan-fried instead because we don't really have a grill (we have a foreman but it's not the same).  Is that enough to make it suck?  Or maybe the chicken sat in the fridge or freezer too long?  We have been putting off cooking ever since our splurgey anniversary weekend (which was fantastic, by the way).  Could have been lack of enthusiasm I suppose.  Neither of us particularly felt like cooking last night.  Does apathy really make food taste gross?  Who knew?!

And since we started dinner so late (becuase Keith was tantalizingly close to beating Assassin's Creed on PS3 and I was totally pushing him to keep going) our little dinner fail happened just as Lost was starting up.  So not only did we have to scramble for a replacement non-sucky dinner, we had to do it during the first few minutes of Lost.  And we don't have a DVR anymore.  It's all live, baby.

So, to recap:
Dinner?  Sucked
Missing Lost?  Sucked even more

Also, this was the last meal we had planned for, so we didn't have anything else fresh in the house because we're going grocery shopping tonight.  So this is what we ended up having for dinner....

That's right folks, the San Francisco treat.  And while Rice A Roni is neither South Beach friendly nor good for your waistline, it most certainly never sucks.

The Waco Hippodrome is Closing

And I'm afraid it might be my fault!

I want to preface this by stating how much I love the Hippodrome.  I love all old theaters, but the Hippodrome is a particularly beautiful one.  Sure, it needed a little more upkeep than it was getting, but the good people behind it did the best they could to keep it going with limited resources and very little support from the community.

And I just think it was so cool to have something like the Hippodrome in Waco.  In addition to musicals and plays, the Hippodrome also began airing classic and contemporary movies the last couple years.  I've attended a Vanguard High talent show and a handful of concerts there as well.  And the Rocky Horror Picture Show hoop-la engineered around the Hippodrome last year was just SO MUCH bizarre and crazy fun.  All my experiences with the Hippodrome have been beyond positive.  I have been a firm supporter.

So a few weeks ago (right before my birthday actually) when the Hippodrome screened the classic film Dr. Zhivago, we just had to go.  And it was lovely!  There was great old-timey music playing as we arrived.  We got popcorn and candy and drinks.  We sat in our seats and admired the unique details of the old building while we waited for the show to start.  The film itself was totally engaging and entertaining (it was my first time to see it).  It was a memorable and delightful experience.

Only one problem.  As lovely as the everything was, the seats are old.  Like, really old.  And fine for sitting an hour or two at a time.  But Dr. Zhivago?  Is a long movie.  The overture began at 7:00 and it was 9:00 before we even hit intermission.  Intermission!  There was still an hour and a half to go.  And our backs were kind of hurting (because we're old) and our knees were cramping (and feeble) and the seats were made for smaller people (because people were so much smaller back then, not because we're so big) and we just couldn't sit there that much longer (because we're also pathetic).

So during intermission we grabbed our coats and our empty soda bottles and our candy wrappers and we just kind of slipped out the front door.  We figured as much as we were enjoying the movie, and wanted to see the end, we could totally rent it and watch the last half with our feet propped up on the coffee table from the comfort of our own couch (which is, let's be honest, our favorite way to watch any part of any movie, beginning or end).  And then we scurried over the street to Austin's on the Avenue to toss back a couple of delicious gin and tonics and toast my birthday (again).

At the time it seemed like the perfect ending to a really cool night.  But now I feel guilty.  I bailed out.  I didn't see things through to the end.  I clearly wasn't willing to work hard enough.  I displayed less than the utmost rapture and regard.  And that kind of rejection can be painful, debilitating even.  Especially to an entity as proud and venerable and, well, old as the Hippodrome.

So is it my fault?  Did I kill the Hippodrome?

I Want to Save the World

I want to make things better for everyone I know.  I want to keep those I love from experiencing pain and heartbreak.  I see people hurting or struggling or drifting and I just want to DO something.  And it's beyond just that milk-of-human-kindness desire to be able to help.  I want to do MORE than just help.  I want to guide and direct everyone and everything down the exact right path to becoming exactly who or what they are supposed to be.  And it saddens me, sometimes beyond bearing, when I can't.

There are a few problems with this little penchant of mine:

A) I could let it run away with me.  Sometimes it feels a little like my life should be a constant crusade.  And it could easily become one.  In fact, I've lived that way before, for a period of years even.  Running around trying to fix everyone, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Feeling both responsible for and powerless over the people and events around me.  And let me tell you, it is freaking exhausting.  And unhealthy.  And ultimately useless because of B and C.

B) I just don't know everything.  Most of the time I act like I do, and a lot of the time I can even fool people into believing it (including myself!), but the truth is I don't have all the answers (I know, you're SHOCKED!). This never slowed me down before, because frankly, I didn't realize it.  Somehow, if I felt strongly enough about something, I became utterly convinced that whatever I felt was right.  I am no longer that confident (or optimistic, or naive, or self-deluded).  Now it seems like the more I learn the more convinced I become of one thing (and one thing only)- I still have so much left to learn.  So now I know that no matter how much I want to help, fix or rescue someone, I don't have the first clue how to do it.  Or what it is they really need.  Basically, I'm just as dumb as the rest of us, and sometimes I just need to remember that and butt out.

C) We all have to learn how to fix ourselves.  Really, no one else can do the fixing for us.  We have to experience mess-ups so that we can learn so that we can grow.  And there's just no way around that.  There is no short-cut to developing character.  And I truly believe that's one of the most important things we do with our time here on earth.  We suck and then we grow and then we change and then we hurt for a little while, but in the end we become better for it.  And no one else can do that for us.  And we can't do it for anyone else.  We just have to dive into our own life and deal with it and do as much as we can with what's given to us.

So now I'm 29, and I'm obviously so much wiser than I was at 18 or 22.  And when I find myself burning with the need to save someone I try to remember the things I've learned.  I try to release myself from the burden of responsibility that was never mine in the first place.  I try to trust in the Grace that has carried me along thus far, and I pray for it to cover the ones I love and lead them too.  And then sometimes (like this week) I still get really sad and really angry and I have to practically sit on my hands to keep me from meddling in a way that would probably only make things worse.  And I remember that I'm still growing and learning and fixing myself.  And I look forward to the day when I'm a little older and a little wiser, and have learned everything there is to know so I finally can save the world.  Or at least maybe by then I'll have stopped needing to.

Adventures in Cooking

We made another home run dinner (adapted from the South Beach diet cookbook) last night.  It was quick, it way easy, and it was adventurous.  This one is such an interesting recipe; a completely ingenious mix of distinct flavors that I would never have thought to combine.  Salmon, mint, and feta?  It sounds a little scary.  But I promise the flavors come together to complement each other so well!  Instead of tasting each individual flavor, they blend together perfectly to create something entirely new and delicious.  It tastes very fresh and light and slightly exotic.  Recipe below (for the daring and stout-of-heart):

Adventurous Pasta Salad

I apologize for the sub-par photo.  I forgot to take any pretty ones last night.  This is a shot of the leftover pasta that I ate for lunch today.  It was still just as good, if slightly less photogenic.

Ingredients:
1 lb. salmon fillet (skin removed)
8 oz. (shaped) whole wheat pasta
1/2 cup peas (fresh or frozen)
1/2 cup reduced fat feta cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh mint
1/4 cup reserved pasta cooking water
Juice of 1 fresh lemon
Sprinkle of salt

Directions:
Heat oven broiler.*  Cover a pan with foil and coat lightly with cooking spray.  Plop the salmon down on the pan (no need to season it) and put it under the broiler until lightly browned and flaky on top.  Took about 12 minutes in our oven.  Could be a couple minutes over or under in yours.  Just watch it.  When it's done, let it cool a bit, then cut it into bite sized chunks and put it in a large bowl.

While that's cooking, boil a big potful of lightly salted water for your whole wheat pasta and cook it based on the package directions.  The recipe says to use "shaped" pasta.  Not quite sure what that means.  We used whole wheat rigatoni, but I think anything that's not long and stringy would do just fine.  Add peas for the last 2 minutes of cooking.  When pasta and peas are done, strain them and add them to the bowl with the salmon.  Don't forget to reserve 1/4 cup of the pasta cooking water for the sauce.

Whisk together (I love the word whisk) the feta, mint, pasta cooking water and lemon juice to make a sauce. Pour it over the salmon, pasta and peas and toss it all together.  Add a dash of salt (to taste), serve it up and enjoy.

*Side note: last night was the first time we ever used our oven broiler.  Up till now, we thought it didn't work so we always just turn the heat up really  high and over-bake when a recipe says to broil.  Last night I was frustrated and I turned the knob really hard until it suddenly clicked and when I opened the oven door behold, the broiler had fired right up.  Our fish tasted so much better properly broiled.  Moral of the story:  if you've got an old damn oven like I do, make sure you turn the knob until it clicks when using the broiler setting.

Quotation Inspiration

"Prometheus gave man fire, but the power every one of us carries each day, heartbeat by heartbeat, is his story.  Come to the circle, bring your spark.  We can live as men without fire, but without story, without art, we freeze alone in the cold white waste."

- Shawn Craig Smith